So how would I express love to my younger myself had I got the time machine to write a letter to him?
Undoubtedly I would tell me to accept myself as an HSP, which has his own awesome qualities. I should be proud of them. Needn't force myself to act like other intrepid comrades - they are simply of a different breed. I don't have to act cool amid noisy parties or pretend to be an alpha male even when I was obviously not comfortable at it. I have my unique charm of intellect and humour, and I don't have to go down that path to impress others.
I would tell myself to trust my gut feeling and pursue whatever pleases my heart. If studying psychology gives me the most joy, then just pursue a researcher career and don't succumb to what others think. Seize the chance to travel to the places I like and fuck the "spoilt kid" comments those assholes kept throwing at me. Same in love affairs. Don't be consumed by vanity to refrain from pursuing the gals I feel infatuated with, or keep thinking about bad outcomes - and this underlies the mindset that matters most next.
I would tell myself to stop believing we have to "live the life to the fullest". Everybody has his/her own definition of what would make their lives meaningful - to themselves not the world. Unfortunately, I don't think that motto carries the same connotation; to me the word "fullest" is only a synonym of "perfect" in disguise. It does nothing good but stirs up a pointless competition where you feel compelled to outdo other people in order to lead a "fuller" life. Caught up in this mindset, I veered off track and drifted from my academic goal. This statement is actually poison under sweet coating.
Therefore, I would tell myself to fuck living a life to the fullest. Instead, live a life to what makes me contented. This does not necessarily mean the traditional prestige many people are after. Even the grandiose goal to save humanity from climate catastrophe can be simply born out of pride than genuine passion. So instead of telling myself to "live to the fullest", "strive for the best" or "to create an impact as much as possible", I would tell myself to identify which people and things truly keep me satisfied, then spend time on these as much as possible, even they did not make my life "full" from the eyes of others.
Finally, when Frida suggests to say something to my younger self, Angela Aki's fantastic song 《手紙~拜啟給十五歲的你》 (a letter to your 15-year-old self) immediately springs into my mind. How great it is to end the journal with this.
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