Day 19: What signs can you see that what you want is already happening?

It is somewhat challenging to write about this as I am not used to thinking this way, and so I presume aren't many people. When we set a new year resolution or whatever goals to be achieved in the future, the underlying assumption usually is that we are currently inadequate, that we are not complete at the moment. Unfortunately, it is precisely this feeling of inferiority which undermines our self-esteem that is essential for achieving our targets. Therefore I can see how this exercise helps.

Source: Getty images

I realize I am changing my perspective bit by bit recently. I used to be disgruntled at the most little glitches of daily events, despite I knew they hardly make a difference to the grand scheme of life. I self-speculate this need of perfect control is due to my insecurity, and that in turn stems from my feeling of inadequacy. By appreciating more of what I have achieved, and being less critical to myself as well as more grateful to what I already possess, I slowly relinquish my urge to control. 

Paradoxically, as my urge to control things which are out of my locus only leads to helplessness, this relinquishment actually empowers me. It gives me the necessary clam. By letting go some of control I feel a sense of relief.  When I am not feeling daunted by the unpredictability in life events, I am more willing to take on new challenges. 

This shift in perspective itself is driving this change, not my actual work. My body is not perfect, but I have kept good exercising habit to stay fit; I am not making the progress I would like to advance my HSP career, but I am indeed making progress; I am still addicted to binge watching videos at night, but as I truly enjoy those moments why I should disdain myself for that? 

At the end of the day, I only answer to myself and what it means to live a life "to the fullest" hinges on me. As explored previously, this pseudo motto only does more harm than good by disguising social competition as meaningful pursuits. When I let go of this, I realize I am already blessed and thriving.  And only with this mindset, more positive changes will entail.