While I first thought it was hard to describe my feelings at the moment, after taking three deep breaths to slow myself down, I come to realize I am having been relentless. It seems I am suppressing some anxiety within myself that I keep going for a dopamine boost - one such quick fix is impulsive eating.
Although I am not overweight and seem healthy on the outset, deep down inside I know my eating habit is taking a toll on my health, and I know this is due to my excessive eating habit. Similar to many people, I feel like grabbing something sweet whenever I feel stressed. The famous Hong Kong style pineapple bun along with thick milk tea is one that keeps popping into my mind on many occasions. After all, looking at this alluring picture, who isn't moved?
When I say stress it does not only manifests itself as intense agitation but also subtle, mild anxiety whenever I am about to commence a perceivably demanding task. This journaling exercise is such an occasion. I have been procrastinating it for most of the day, and when I finally put myself together I was tempted to go for an afternoon tea - despite not feeling hungry. I seem to have developed this habit into a conditioning effect. As a result, I take in much more (unhealthy) food than I would have wanted.
Maybe coming to terms with my feelings could help me overcome this urge. It is an interesting thesis to examine. Next time while I am having this subtle anxiety again, instead of hitting the restaurant I shall give myself three deep breaths, calming my nerves to see if that little monster would fade away. If it does, I am sure it would be an exhilarating.
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