Just as I looked into perfectionism yesterday, there are other self-saboteur thoughts which are holding me back what I want to achieve in life - one of them is the negative thinking pattern.
I believe this is somehow related to perfectionism. Reflecting objectively about myself, I believe I am not too worse off than others. Nonetheless, as a perfectionist it is not surprising that I hold exceptionally high standards against myself, other people... and nature as well, which means whenever something undesirable happens, it takes a toll on me much more so than other people. Unfortunately, the world works in mysterious ways that are usually beyond our ability to comprehend. No matter how much time we spend to contemplate every possible outcome, we still fall short of our expectation every now and then.
I find it particularly hard to comprehend the presence of random violence in our society. Whenever I hear news of gangster crimes or school bullying it gives me an overwhelming sense of helplessness, making me feel hopeless and depressed. Also when I am not feeling confident enough, I am prone to assuming others judging me in a negative light, be they real or not. All these negative thoughts are hindering me from venturing into the world.
It is not that I am not aware of how fear and being cautious can have its own merits. They protect us from going reckless and harming ourselves. But they should serve us rather than hindering progress in our lives. Having acknowledged this, my goal in the year is to strike a balance between this precious trait passed down from our ancestors, and the motivation to live a fulfilling life.
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